Couples Negril Trip Report

January 2002

written by negril lady

I would like to share with readers our 2nd amazing visit to Couples in Negril, Jamaica. Couples is a world class resort with beautiful beaches, outstanding service, and amazing food. As return guests we received a free Airlink flight from MoBay, a bottle of champagne in the room, complimentary t-shirts, complimentary 30 minute massages, and a manager's dinner at the Otaheite (the gourmet restaurant). I give this resort 10 out of 10 and recommend it highly to anyone.

Monday, December 24th

We had an early flight on Air Jamaica at 7:30 so we had to arrive at the airport by 5:00 a.m. at least. That was very difficult since we live an hour away but we made it. I got chosen randomly for a body search but the lady was very nice. I didn't mind--I was glad for the extra precautions in evidence! This was right after the shoe bomb incident.

This was our 3rd trip to Jamaica and 2nd to Couples Negril. But what a difference because this time we had a direct flight! Flight left on time and very nice flight (a little bumpy but that was no one's fault!) and we were there in 2 hours and 50 minutes! We have had nightmarish experiences before with American Airlines to Miami and 12+ hours traveling time so this was a blessing!

It was cloudy and a little rainy when we got to the airport but we still managed to fly an Airlink to Negril. This was our first time for that, too, and now we won't do it any other way! Part of the wonderful treatment for being return guests to Couples was this flight at no charge one way! We saw a couple on our flight whisked away to the bus before we could talk to them about the little flight and I felt bad for them because due to the rain, their bus ride took 3 hours! We met them at the resort and became friends. They definitely flew back to MoBay for their return flight!

We were picked up by a Couples car even though the resort is across the street from the Negril aerodrome. We had a quick convenient check-in with champagne and cool towels. At that point it was only 12:45 so we had most of the day left! When we got to the room, it was still raining so we changed into shorts and went to lunch. I continued to drink champagne and beer throughout the day and evening which I sorely regretted the next day! The bottle of champagne in the room didn't help though it was a nice touch! I was much more moderate the remainder of the trip! That evening, there was a Manager's cocktail party in the lobby and a buffet inside since the beach party had been moved in doors. After we ate, we sat in the hot tub in the rain which was a neat experience! We turned in pretty early since we had such an early start!

Tuesday, December 25th

The next day was Christmas day which started out cloudy but became sunnier as the day went on. A Jamaican Santa Claus arrived by boat with a lady elf. I hustled over there because I had read on the activities board that he was bringing presents. He gave out rum and hot sauce...I guess the elves have a distillery at the North Pole--what great guys! We began meeting some amazing friends and I firmly believe it's because we were on the Au Natural beach. People are so friendly and without pretense. The Couples A/N beach is more of a naturist kind of beach rather than a sexual atmosphere. No one gawks and everyone is respectful and polite.

The only discomfort was that families with children from Riu Tropical Bay walked by. However, the children were low key and most didn't even seem to notice. I must say this was one of the best Christmases I've ever had! At lunch at the Terrace Grill, some Jamaican high school students performed and they were some of the best entertainment we saw--very talented kids!

We ate that night at the Beach Grill which becomes a cozy little seaside restaurant at night. The food was wonderful as always! I can't really remember what we did that night (next time I'm taking a travel journal to record daily details).

Wed, December 26th

This was another fun day though I'm not clear on the details. We laid out and got too much sun. Last time I was in Jamaica (Grand Lido Braco) I had pre-tanned in a tanning bed which made the lay out scene much more comfortable. I will do that next time. Before this trip, I was frantically busy and unable to spend the time. It is definitely worth it. I have the kind of skin that will tan with a great deal of effort--not olive but not impossible either. Pre-tanning keeps you from getting that horrible burn on virgin pale spots where you missed putting on sunscreen.

We met so many nice people in the hot tub! One afternoon, I was talking to a beautiful girl and her boyfriend about her Sri Lanka t-shirt that I had noticed. I asked her about the country and we talked about her growing up years in Australia. Her boyfriend had grown up in Italy and looked it--very good looking guy! They were so nice and down to earth! Later, I found out that she was none other than Danielle De Niesse, an opera singer who had just finished singing Cleopatra in Amsterdam! Her boyfriend is Ildebrand d'Arcangelo another opera singer! Fame has certainly not gone to this young couple's head at all! They continued to greet us and were friendly the entire trip! Bless her heart, she was kicked by a horse on her second to last day and was hobbling around on crutches. Darn horse apparently doesn't appreciate talent!

We had our 1st reservation for Otaheite, the gourmet restaurant that evening. I was a little apprehensive for we had heard mixed reviews. We had a wonderful time, though! The food was fabulous and the service outstanding. My husband had the lamb and I had the tenderloin. They seat parties of two at a little couch and the atmosphere was so romantic. The cucumber soup was served in a coconut shell! I heard reviews that said that it was not enough food--we left stuffed and happy! Portions aren't big but there are so many courses that you are satisfied unless you are a huge eater! And then--if that's the case--just go to the beach grill or the Terrace restaurant for a second dinner--it's all inclusive for heaven's sake!

Thursday, December 27th

We woke up to an extremely windy day--rolling surf which was very unusual for protected Bloody Bay! We had reservations for the Catamaran cruise with the couple from our home town but it was canceled due to the wind. That didn't stop us from lying out and soaking up what rays we could! I did aerobics that morning and the guy killed me! Great aerobics teacher! I was very relaxed the rest of the day due to exhaustion!

Our free t-shirts were delivered that day and we were invited to the Manager's dinner at the Otaheite. Very nice affair! This time I had lamb which was great except for the egg plant (which I understand is an acquired taste that I haven't acquired) while hubby had salmon--pretty good. We sat with a nice German couple. After that, we went to the Piano Bar for a while.

Friday, December 28th

We finally made it down to the Sports area and Hobie cat lessons. There had been a huge influx of people after Christmas so we had to wait for a while but it was worth it. The little sailboat is very easy to sail and it was quite blissful on the water. My husband went in for a nap and I sat at the beach grill and talked to the people on our flight that we had met earlier--very nice folks. We plan to get together when vacation is over!

That evening we both turned in early--about 8:00--without eating. The food is so delicious and the sun so draining that it is easy to be wiped out by both! It was nice to wake up without the overeating bloat that can come with too much good food!

Saturday, December 29th

This was a lovely day of sunning and chatting with lots of compatible people on the A/N beach! At 3:30, most of us boarded the sunset Catamaran Cruise which was a BLAST! We established an A/N corner though we kept our clothes on--just hung out with the friends we met there. We motored mostly and actually saw flying fish hovering over the water! Live music and rum punch were great! We anchored at the Pickled Parrot which is a typical Jamaican bar which features low key cliff jumping (not like Rick's where you need to be professional to even think about it!). I was amazed by the little bitty kids jumping. On the way back we saw an incredible sunset where the sun seemed to be swallowed by the beautiful Caribbean--one would expect to see steam rising from the point of entry!

That evening, we requested a table for 10 so our group could eat together at the beach grill. The waiters seated us and we innocently began deliberating the menu. This is the one unpleasant experience we had--a haughty British woman that we had seen before came to our table and said, "I just want to thank you for spoiling my husband's 40th birthday party!" and stalked off. We sat open mouthed until I declared the gifted commentary, "Oh, Get over it!" (I wish I had kept my mouth shut--silence would have been a much more appropriate response!) Later, we found out that she believed that one of the men at our table was Richard Branson, CEO of Virgin Atlantic Airlines and many other enterprises. (He does look remarkably like him but if it was him, he would have been at Neker Island unless slumming!) She thought that he had stolen the table away because of his clout. Actually, it was an innocent mistake of the wait staff and the lady (term used loosely here) had made a fool of herself. Later, we saw her birthday party opposite us in another table for 10. The lovely British couple we were with was so embarrassed thinking that she made the Brits look bad--however we reassured them that there are fools from all nations, unfortunately! I hope that woman reads this and realizes what an a__ she made of herself!

She did not spoil our evening, though! We had a lovely dinner, had a great picture made and we each ordered a copy.

Sunday, December 30th

We had discussed visiting Hedo II with some friends on the A/N beach ("Richard Branson" and his girlfriend). Our bud, Richard, found out details and we walked over to the infamous resort for a free tour with this couple and another couple we had met. "Gary the Guy" at Hedo gave us a very friendly and hospitable tour of the place. Richard's girlfriend asked cautiously about good times to come when swingers and wife swappers were not present and there was not a huge period of time without either this or wild singles present. We absorbed this information in silence and resolve (at least the women did.)

We were quite amused by the collection of trees--after 38 visits, you earn a tree dedicated to you--(where did they get the number of 38 I wonder?). The area looks like a graveyard! We were shown the disco and saw some improvements to be made on the prude side. The ice skating rink seemed a little ridiculous to me--go to Jamaica to ice skate? But to each his own. I wasn't that interested in returning at night for $75 apiece for a night pass but since the other couple we met wanted to go; my husband talked me into it. I'm glad he did because my curiosity is totally fulfilled.

This place is totally NASTY in all ways. I had pictured fun loving and naughty. I had pictured fun, friendly people in a naturist setting. I will probably anger some Hedo fans when I say--this is not a naturist resort--this is a disgusting, sexual free for all!

With our $75 cover charge we were (supposedly) entitled to free access to drinks, food, and all other parts of the resort. We were in no way distinguished from guests. When we started off at the piano bar, I asked for a Miller Lite but told--no only Red Stripe. Then I asked for Citroen Vodka in a drink--no don't have it (as bar tender glares at me for even daring--though they proclaim to carry top shelf brands.) I finally accept some off brand vodka and Ting--yuck! Next we are entertained by a hefty, unattractive chick who takes her dress off on top of the Piano in about 2 seconds. My husband (who is not a jealous type) didn't leave my side because of the leering men ready to move in--and I'm fairly ordinary looking in my own opinion! We next moved to the disco where we received a similar, “we don't have it" response with glares when top shelf liquors were requested. "Vinnies" (single leering men wanting to move in on couples for swinging purposes) were everywhere. A pair of scantily dressed but heavily made up girls paraded as lesbians in a dance that was obviously designed to entice men.

We then made the mistake of venturing to the nude hot tub--the size of a small swimming pool. After stripping down, we discovered you had to dress to get a drink (only available at disco or piano bar...what?) We gave up on that and got in the hot tub only to witness leering Vinnies, 2 men on 1 woman and a couple having sex. We didn't stay long--I was worried about getting a disease!

Back to the Disco for a bit--we wanted to go back to Couples but we had spent $150! Finally we gave it up and went back--but at least we'll never consider staying there. People who go there love it--but they obviously don't value service and other perks of Couples--I'm going to be nice and stop there. One more comment--the poor service was reminiscent of what we experienced at Grand Lido Braco (another SuperClubs resort)--only far worse!!

Monday, December 31st

This was New Year's eve and we had another nice day with the folks on the A/N beach who razzed us heartily about our trip to Hedo! It was so funny--I got there after my husband and when they asked me what I thought of it and when I told them, they said, "But your hubby has already booked your next vacation there!" Like I said, these are classy, authentic naturist sorts who were horrified to hear about the goings on at Hedo! Strengthened my opinion that nudists are not necessarily Hedonists--just people who appreciate the bodies we were given by God and deservedly so! Good people who hate to see these God given bodies desecrated by tan lines!

Later, we went to Rick's Cafe with one of the Hedo excursion couples (also of the opinion that the place was a trashy meat market.) The banana daiquiris were good and the cliff diving was neat but the place is over rated. Good place to go once and say you've been. The token system (where you have to buy tokens before you can purchase drinks) seems like a sneaky way to make you spend more than you intended to. We got back to Couples as the New Years Eve festivities were beginning so we rushed to our rooms to get ready!

I had bought a cute little summer skirt and blouse at the boutique but almost everyone was in sequins and elegant formal wear. That's the kind of casual gal I am--better underdressed than over dressed I believe usually. Next year I will know! We had fun anyway and I must describe the spread that Couples had set up--unbelievable! I have been to some fancy weddings but I have never seen anything like this!

Many more tables were set up than usual which led me to believe many people came for New Year's Eve only. The tables were dressed in black tablecloths with black, gold, and red centerpieces. It was simply lovely!

Beautiful, individual stands were set up for theme foods. These included stands for lamb, roast beef, seafood, salads, appetizers, a pasta bar, tex mex, oriental, lobster, more seafood, pork (Hawaiian luau style with the whole pig) and sushi. What's more, the servers at each booth went out of their way to be friendly and invite you to sample their food! The most impressive station by far was the dessert booth which took up the entire Otaheite restaurant! They had gorgeous desserts and I am not a sweet eater--but the spread took my breath away! For example, little "Droopy Dogs" made from marzipan and a whole table devoted to chocolates! It was like something from a magazine!

I must digress by saying that Grand Lido Braco had a similar (though not nearly as impressive) set up for their "Street Party" when we were there last spring. The difference is in the attitudes of the servers. The people at Braco acted as if you were lucky to get a morsel! The ones at Couples were excited to serve you, eager to talk and were happy and excited about New Year's Eve--even dancing themselves! Couples must be a phenomenal employer because the people that work there constantly sing and smile! Even the ladies that make up the rooms ask if you were having a good time and make small talk!

Then a fun band played and we had ringing in of New Year! "Richard Branson" (the formerly mentioned scoundrel) had started a rumor that one of the many balloons contained a free week long trip to Couples. Many of us bought in and popped balloons like crazy trying to find it! It was fun, though! Old Branson had the last laugh! Rich, if you are reading this, I hope you are enjoying this memoir! Aren't you glad you slummed with us instead of staying at Neker?

This was truly the most elegant and FUN New Year's Eve I have ever had! All of us in the group spoke of plans to be back to ring in 2003!

Tuesday, January 1st

This was our last full day at Couples and I wanted to have a low key good time (back to work on Thursday.) We stayed on the beach and even played a little volleyball with our Hedo friends. That evening was another Catamaran cruise but my hubby bailed out at the last minute! He needs many naps and I have become accustomed to this personality trait! I decided to go stag since I knew other friends would be going. I was glad I did because the sunset was more incredible than before!

Dinner with friends at the Terrace Restaurant and attempted hot tub though it was a little chilly. We went in early.

Wednesday, January 2nd

Very sad last day on the A/N beach! We stayed 'til the last possible minute and exchanged email and other info with our new, good friends. We all agreed to try to come back for next Christmas/New Years with health and financial issues willing. Back to the room to throw clothes into suitcase...then to the Terrace for a final delicious lunch.

We had booked a Tim Air Flight to MoBay. After a decent flight with Air Jamaica (an hour late--not too bad) we were back home where the temperature was a cruel 30 degrees Fahrenheit!

Miscellaneous Comments and Random Observations

I'm sure the managers at Couples have heard this request but I am going to make it again.

Please spruce up the A/N beach! At least a hot tub and a plunge pool! While I know that having a bar with bartender might be expensive, surely you could expand red flag service to this beach--we're high paying customers, too! Having talked to many of the residents of this beach, we are a financially comfortable crowd--certainly a group worth pleasing!

Several of us are return guests--folks you don't want to lose!

There are several cats around the place. I am a cat lover and would often sit at the Beach Grill, order a whole Jerk chicken (w/o sauce) and feed the cats. If you are there, please keep up this tradition! The gorgeous resort peacock likes meat, too!

The snorkeling trip is a great opportunity. We didn't go this time but did last time and thoroughly enjoyed it! If you SCUBA, they do a great job at that, too!

If you are thinking about Grand Lido Negril, don't waste your money. The beach over there was not as pretty as Couples and the place was deserted! I have also heard that it is run down. If the service as a SuperClub compares to Hedo and Grand Lido Braco, you will be spending a third more money for a third less service.

If you are an athletically minded sports type, the gym and cardio room are excellent. We have heard that it is not as nice as Swept Away but certainly adequate. My husband enjoyed private tennis lessons at no extra charge. I took an aerobics class and was hurting afterwards! (in a good way)

The catamaran cruise at Couples is no extra charge compared to surrounding resorts who charge for the trip.

Definitely take the little puddle jumper from MoBay to Negril--15 minutes compared to 11/2 to 3 hours! I also was terrified we would kill a goat or some other helpless animal (or human) while on the bus ride! That would certainly ruin my vacation!

The massages and spa treatments are incredible--very talented ladies in a soothing atmosphere! Very reasonably priced as well! (About $60 for an hour). A friend we met raved about the reflexology.

The resort proclaims no tipping and we went along with that. However, we left some school supplies (crayons, calculator, markers, glue, folders, paper, etc...) with our maid with a note. Jamaican children are in need of such things and though you would get great service even if you don't do this--it makes you feel good to leave such a gift!

Speaking of reasonably priced, Couples Negril is a fabulous resort for the money! It is brand new--built in 1998. We have read about Sandals, Grand Lido, and other places which cost a great deal more money without the perks! Hedonism with its horrible service and rundown facilities costs more than Couples. I don't understand it but will continue to take advantage of it! Especially if they spruce up the A/N area!