REPORT
ON DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GRAND LIDO NEGRIL, ROYAL
This report contains cultural stereotyping and comments which some may find offensive—well too bad!!
We have visited GLN 27 times since its opening in 1989 and have previously visited SS one time about 5 years ago while it was still a Superclubs property. We visited RP and SS this time because GLN was closed.
We must admit we do not do much on our vacation. We have in fact in all our visits to GLN only walked past the water sports onto the main beach twice. And we have not exited the gates except to leave in the past 25 visits. So we cannot comment on the quality of water sports, golf, bicycles, tours because we don’t even know if they have them, or if they do, where they are. Although we did spy in the distance bicycles while we were at SS.
All three hotels are completely acceptable
and anyone finding serious complaint should look to themselves and the viability
of their demands before raising the issue.
None are comparable to the top level hotels such as Four Seasons Las Vegas,
Four Seasons Sharm et Sheik (Egypt) or Royal Hideaway
Mexico but they don’t pretend to be (and anyway only a few can pay the price
required for that level of service). All
have good restaurants, again not comparable the best in the large cities of
So we are commenting only on the differences and only those which are of importance to the layabout guest (like us) who chooses to do nothing but eat, sleep, lie on the beach, enjoy some level of evening camaraderie and entertainment and to stroll between the events with little effort required. (And some other things we won’t mention).
Food
RP---As a brief background, twenty five
years ago as Europeans coming to North America we were amazed at the quality of
product and service and low cost of North American food which was way beyond
anything in
The all-inclusives of Superclubs and Sandals have in the same time period become more directed to the American customer so that fewer and fewer Europeans come because those who can afford to come (rather than Spain) think Sandals resorts are crude and bland.
We understand that RP is an attempt by Butch Stewart of Sandals (who owns the hotel himself) to bring back European graceful living and dining adventure.
Therefore the new format has been introduced of finer dining which is all al la carte breakfast, lunch and dinner with less buffet (there are still some buffet meals). Payment can be per meal and per drink but can be on an all inclusive plan if you prefer to attempt to dispel the image of streaming buffet lines filled with blah fry-ups.
Does the a la carte work. Personally I tended to order the same things all the time because they were my favourite so I got a little bored. And you cannot pick a bit of this and a bit of that. The food (particularly foods such as eggs Benedict) is fresher but not enough better to make up for the reduced choice and variety.
While they do a la carte very well they are
not set up to do buffets which need skill and preparation so that the buffets
one or two evenings and at one breakfast simply do not compare to those at GLN or
SS. The chef Hugo is an old Austrian
(now living in
The service in the top restaurant was
abysmal. I cannot image why as it was
mainly empty. The service in the lunch
and breakfast Bayside bar was of the scolding “its
coming” variety if you ever dared ask where your order has got to. Also I cannot understand why in
SS--- Buffet breakfast and lunch are good but not as lavish as GLN. While there was no buffet line the occupancy was low so that a full hotel could overload the relatively small buffet area. The top restaurant Casanova was excellent and the service typical Jamaican top quality. The second restaurant which is Italian was also good. I was fearful it would be like the dreadful Pasta Bar at GLN but it was surprisingly good with excellent entrees. The menu is a bit limited and I expect boredom would set in well before the 27th visit.
GLN---I think the breakfast and lunch
buffets are the best and even after about 270 of them (in 27 visits) I have
never gotten tired or jaded. I also
think Piacere the top restaurant is the best of all three with very classy
service and quality food. They ask you
once what you want then bring it all with courtesy and friendliness. The menu
has remained unchanged for most of the past 15 years so I tend to reduce my
visits to maybe twice because I have eaten there too often. But I love Café Lido because it’s good
quality food with a different menu every night of the week. Also the food comes in small portions so you
can eat through all six courses without feeling bloated. Now I understand this distresses
some Americans who want one BIG course so that they can wolf it down in 15
minutes and get back to the bar (or whatever).
We even overheard two Americans at SS who after half an hour stated
loudly that they had been there way too long and they were leaving. What pressing matter called them I am not
sure as frankly there is nothing much else to do at
Hotel
Décor
RP-- has guest rooms and dining rooms which are very well constructed with nice mahogany and attractive lighting but in strange green and yellow colors which make your skin and hair different colors. Tough for doing the makeup so Lesley tells me. And the walls are way too busy with art and fittings and knickknacks and decorations.
GLN---The rooms are bland and basic with very poor craftsmanship.
SS--The rooms are much better but still basic. A strange corridor arrangement provides a kind of suite with a separate tiny sitting room and balcony so that guests can enter without being in the bedroom.
Hotel
construction
RP-- is an old style 50’s
SS-- is a similar construction the same 50s vintage of even more mountainous terrain but with a flatter area to one side on which more rooms have been built in about 1990 around the main beach. The CO beach is a further walk around the point. At SS there is no solution, so be prepared to act like a mountain goat. One tip is that the walk along the back road is much easier than the steps.
GLN-- is a strip along the water line so is basically flat and all rooms are dated from 1989 (with minor and generally ineffective upgrades in 2003). As our vacation includes only a very limited triangle of room to restaurant/entertainment to beach to room, this is much simpler at GLN where no climbing is necessary.
CO Beach
RP—there is none. Although they could easily do it by moving the water sports to the main beach and using the second small secluded beach But they won’t because this is Sandals and they don’t want to put off the puritan punters.
SS-- way down the end. A very nice secluded area away from the rooms with a modern pool and a swim up bar and a big waterfall fountain thing which makes nice sounds but cools the pool so it’s a bit chilly. Its CO so lots of textile people. Also being remote it also serves as the staff social clubs so that there are always 6-10 staff chatting and playing reggae and, I suppose, watching the CO guests. Given it’s their country so we feel a bit churlish suggesting they stop.
GLN – the best feature because it is directly connected to the rooms and forms a little boutique community of fun people. And being close to the rooms the room-beach restaurant triangle is much smaller cutting out unwanted exercise.
Shade
trees
RP---For those wanting unfettered sun to cook their bodies there are plenty of areas to do this. However some want less sun and more shade. At RP this is a serious problem because there is little, except some on the second water sports beach and we don’t do water sports. So we stopped going to the beach.
SS--- there are good trees and thatched umbrellas. But the beach is at the mouth of a river and thus collects the debris from the river. The pool is concrete and has little shade and so tends to be hot.
GLN—the CO beach has lots of shade trees (or there were before Ivan. We worry that these are all gone.) GLN is the best beach for shade and tends to have a greater breeze (I am not sure why) so is much cooler and sometimes too breezy and too cool.
Meeting
people
RP--- We like to use vacations as a chance to meet new people and have met many over the years. However we believe that people need a little time to connect to (apart from really loud up front types who you don’t want to meet anyway). Surprisingly the veranda area and centralized construction made this particularly easy and we met many interesting people (only some of them loud).
SS--was more difficult because there is no central area and no communities so much less opportunity for contact. The CO beach is spread out with little contact. So we felt this was the worst of the three.
GLN forms a little community on the CO beach because the people are also neighbours giving the best opportunity to meet like minded people.
Beach
chairs
GLN--- has wide plastic chairs with arms and soft pink cushion for easy access (for the old and infirm) and low haemorrhoid factor.
SS--- has the same ex-Superclubs pink cushions on some chairs but on the cheap vinyl strap base. It also has some of the plastic frame/blue canvas cover type with old saggy canvas (to support the old saggy bodies)
RP--- has only the blue canvas type but with taut new canvas type with taut new canvas probably OK for taut fit bodies but much too stiff for the rest of us. High haemorrhoid factor.
Beds
RP--- has a fabulous soft high four poster with top quality sheets and covers up there in quality with Four Seasons beds.
SS--- Average king size OK comfort
GLN--- old tired lumpy and the king size is formed from two doubles where you can feel the space between the two enough that they might as well be separate.
Exotic
Cute Animals
RP---peacocks majestically strutting
SS-- Turtles, parrots and cute ducks to feed
GLN-- a bunch of scrawny cats
Entertainment
RP – high brow jazz oriented trios. Little dance music--more suitable for a retirement home. A Jamaican folk trio with a banjo player who can actually play in time (while the comparable guy at GLN is clearly too stoned or too old to know where the beat is)
An evening of violin lead
jazz taken from the Stephane Grappelli
songbook (for those who can remember). The highlight of the week was an afternoon
tea time talk by an old colonial white lady on the history and archaeology of
SS --It was like moving from the geriatric ward at RP to the co-ed college drunk week. The classic reggae band backed up with Lionel Ritchie hits. Lots of dancing but no class.
GLN---has the classic reggae band. Why they all have the same play list of bland reggae and Lionel Richie covers I do not know. They have some good headliners who can raise the energy level and get the punters on the dance floor. But they also have Mervin Williams who has appeared every week since the beginning of time in the same lounge lizard tuxedo and played the same play list of late 50s early 60s numbers. And he always says “Do you remember the mash potato”?? and Mervin NO I DON’T and I am probably the oldest person in the place.
Wine
RP--- good house wines so you do not need to upgrade to the “exclusive” list. But if you do look out for outrageous “Vegas” prices.
SS--- the house wines were drinkable but we upgraded at the top restaurant for good value acceptable wines. A 1998 St. Emillion for $35 was excellent.
GLN--- The house wines are TOXIC. So much so that we are contemplating taking in our luggage a case of something drinkable but you can upgrade to something vaguely drinkable for $30 at Piacere.
Big
Red Wine Glasses
We all know that the current fashion is to drink red wine out of huge fine quality glasses.
RP--- big and good quality
SS-- small and poor quality after all this was a Superclubs property.
GLN-- small and poor unless you insist to use the water glass and manage to prevent the staff from filling it with water.
Quality
of Guest
RP—lots of boring English people including retired bank managers well suited to the retirement home atmosphere.
SS—Mainly a wedding crowd but this was September.
GLN—mostly more exciting and adventurous people with some very wealthy, and some lots of fun and way more surgically enhanced breasts.